So I broke up with my therapist…

As a therapist and social worker, I have had to have tough conversations with others. I have had to tell someone I need to remove their child, I had to interview children about really painful experiences and I’ve been present during a child’s death. There is a professional side of me that has very little issue with being with people during hard moments in their lives.

In my personal life, I have found this to be much more difficult. Recently, became aware that the therapist I had been working with for the past few years is no longer a good fit. She had taken me as far as I could go with her and her skills/abilities.

None of these reasons were bad, but I see it as a part of how our relationship has grown over the past few years. I learned a lot during my work with her; more about myself, my own responses as well as how I function within relationships. I also learned how to have hard conversations in my personal life; something I will continue to work on for a while.

Breaking up with a therapist is self-care

In a larger context, this blog post is about self care. Working in this field, working with really difficult situations as well as with pain and trauma it is important to have a therapist. Many of us also come to this field with our own trauma and painful experiences. If we don’t address them we run risk of it impacting our clients. When finding a therapist, it is important to know that letting a if therapist go or “breaking up” with them is okay. Make sure you know why you are moving on and not moving on to avoid addressing harder issues. In the beginning of therapy, it can often feel like the right fit at the time. For most of the time it is but it is also important to check in with yourself to make sure the relationship continues be healthy and to assist you with growth. If the relationship feels more about the therapist or their needs, please end this relationship. Therapy needs to be about you, about your growth and it needs to support you in finding your inter strength and skills. Therapy is a transactional relationship but the center needs to be you as the client. Therapists benefit from seeing your growth, awareness and therapy at some levels reaffirms the healthy nature of itself and the skill building. They key is making sure the relationship has you at the center.

So…never be scared to break up with your therapist! Who knows, it could be the best breakup in your life. It could also be good for both of you.